Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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