So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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