You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Randomize
