So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
