Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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