Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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