i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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