Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
