Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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