Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
