Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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