Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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