If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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