Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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