Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
