y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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