I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
