Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Holy sore nipples Batman
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
