feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize