Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
