This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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