Yo dont text me then not text me
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
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In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
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Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(