GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.