Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize