He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
