pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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