think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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