david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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