Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
