Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
we're so committed to being not committed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
