he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
