either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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