I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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