she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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