oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I see more hoeing in ur future
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