i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
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im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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