She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
