I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
