He uses pillows to masturbate.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
