Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
