We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
