so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
