Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize