omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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