Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
