you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
