just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
