Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
