i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
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You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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