dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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