someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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