Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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