Where is the hickey?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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