he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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