I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize