she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
