I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
