we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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