now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
