So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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